colourman ([info]colourman) wrote,
@ 2006-11-23 15:56:00
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hmmmmphh
yes i know it's been a year..and yes i know i should do this more often... but seriously speaking this past year has been too bloody depressing.. and the last thing i really wanna do is mope in virtual reality... but boy did the year have some nasty surprises...

i loved and lost
met some seriously weird people with equally weird fantasies
lost friends
lost my mind more than once
commented on other's blogs
and realised im a ton more sensible than my older sister..

end of the day i realised that maybe i dont like bangalore as much as i thought i would.. it gives me a false sense of security... i dont have control over my life here...and i live hoping for things to happen that i know for a fact wont happen... oh and people here are just not efficient enough for me... cal was more my pace... i know what ure saying... cal? really? the laziest place in the world is more efficient than bangalore?? well honestly yes! cal has a richer sense of culture and not as many people living in la la land... however dramatic cal people might be, they are (unconsciously, mind you)imbibed with a sense of reality that they dont let go off for a few thrills in life... and sue me... but cal's music scene is a ton better than the wannabe bangalore bands... though i must say... lounge piranha in bangalore is fucking awesome!! oh and their drummer is decidedly cute...

but im straying from the point... the point is... well i definitely had a point...
oh yes... the point is i took some bad decisions in my life.... im not a romantic person and i made the mistake of being madly, suicidally in love with someone... and make no mistake i was loved back.. but hopeless case that i am, it obviously went nowhere... but he wasnt the mistake... the mistake was the hopless suicidal love.... should have had more sense and left it at friendship..

second bad decision.. choosing commits... fuck was that a bad decision or was that a bad decision... i made some very interesting people here but i also met an irrational, slightly power-hungry dean, a seriously anal ex-journalist and badly-dressed professor who was for the longest time obsessed with my laptop. together (and i dont include the interesting people i met) they made my life hell. like actual hell with the devil chappie doing a little fire dance and his fallen angels following suit... for the past year all i hear is ranting and raving and nothing is good enough and everything i do is a mistake and i dont have people skills and how with my kind of attitude i'll never make it in the media industry... well balls to all of u buggers... i made it this far didn't i! i get work done dont i! i work endlessly and make sure everything is as perfect as i can possibly make it, dont i! well then balls to u... i did my best and if thats not good enough in bangalore then maybe bangalore is not up to my standards..... bah!

see i told u... all this in virtual reality is not good.... so im gonna take a break and continue after... well after i dont know what... but after....

and im here... im back... and i will write... u might get serious hate-everyone vibes from this but then again... u hate all these people too... u just dont know it yet!

oh and by the way... this is dedicated to my darling roomie shubhs...she stayed with me for over a year... bore with all my hissy fits.. let me wear her ear rings... bitched about me when she was on a "i-wanna-be-a-bitch" fit.... and now we're closer than ever again! so here's to u kuttu



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uhmmm
(Anonymous)
2006-11-23 12:24 pm UTC (link)
So, PINK it is!
Thanks for dedicating your first post of the year to me! You really need some serious venting to do man. But is it actually that bad? Loved and lost? hmmm. No comments on that though.
Welcome back and keep up the good work!
And yes, I actually do miss you. Bah! :p

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Re: uhmmm
[info]colourman
2006-11-23 12:59 pm UTC (link)
yes pink! and it does feel good to be back!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]stonethestone
2006-11-24 09:55 am UTC (link)
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” : Neil Gaiman

Donno the relevance to your post.... Came across your blog from orkut or someplace. Kinda seemed like a good quote.

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@stonethestone
[info]colourman
2006-11-24 11:31 am UTC (link)
lol.. its really not that bad,.. i mean yes it is.. but it was a whole lotta fun while it lasted.. so i dont think i have any regrets... would've been better if it had lasted tho' :D

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Re: @stonethestone
[info]stonethestone
2006-11-24 11:46 am UTC (link)
I guess you are lucky then ;-).
For some people the whole glass splinter bit remains for a long time. And they become cynics and lead a miserable existence.

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Re: @stonethestone
[info]stonethestone
2006-11-24 11:47 am UTC (link)
Nice userpic. In to photography by any chance? Mid if I add you to my friends list ?

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Re: @stonethestone
[info]colourman
2006-11-24 11:51 am UTC (link)
nope go ahead... well i am a little into photography... but what u see above is really my friend's doing.. he's the ace

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Re: @stonethestone
[info]stonethestone
2006-11-24 11:54 am UTC (link)
Bit in to photography. Have nothing much other than some photographs on my blog. I am not all that good at it but I kinda enjoy it.

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Re: @stonethestone
[info]colourman
2006-11-24 12:02 pm UTC (link)
gorgeous stuff... i can see ure quite enamoured by the rain and all forms of water

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Re: @stonethestone
[info]stonethestone
2006-11-24 12:05 pm UTC (link)
LOL , yes I like photographing water and thank you , glad you liked it .

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